about st george's church st george's news advertisers Waterlooville Music Festival
printer info
From the Vicar High Tide Ordination: Revd Liz Quinn But Why Bump Off Barnaby? Eco Church Film Night Carbon Footprint Calculator Sunday School Eco Challenge What a Year! The Bee Experience Forthcoming Charities Wound Healing News from the pews Mothers' Union Anna Chaplaincy Matt Cook's cycle trip Book Corner Who am I? Crossword Puzzle time Music Festival 2023

St George’s News - Waterlooville’s Parish Magazine

The Website for St George’s Church, Waterlooville and its Parish Magazine St George’s News

Summer 2023 issue

But Why Bump Off Barnaby?

Horndean Amateur Theatre presented the comedy /who-done-it But Why Bump Off Barnaby by Rick Abbot from 30th March to 1st April in the  Church Hall.

It was a Friday evening,

A dark and stormy night,

Inside a spooky mansion

With intermittent light!

A family had gathered

Plus extras, one or two,

A murderer amongst them.

The question though was who?

Then happenings disturbing,

Like sherry turning green,

A most unhealthy colour,

’Twas poison so did seem.

The unintended victim

A most unfortunate fly.

What dastardly intention

Did make the creature die?

Much worse about to happen

A murderous attack,

For Barnaby lay prostrate

A dagger in his back!

Someone had bumped off Barnaby!
The question though was why?
The poorest of the family,

And not a wealthy guy.

There followed much discussion

And need for alibis

Detection and deduction

And sifting through the lies.

With blackouts and loud noises,

Bookcase with secret door.

And people disappearing

Who re-appeared once more.

It seemed there was a Tontine

Conceived sometime ago.

A dangerous arrangement,

As everyone should know.

A limerick was crucial

Each portion formed a clue

Recited in right order

The answer could construe.

The “treasure” was a picture,

Well actually the frame

Was made of gold and priceless

A weapon then became

When off the wall it toppled

Was soon apparent that

The murderer beneath it

Squashed absolutely flat.

With “Barnaby” not Barnaby,

And definitely not dead

Until the very ending.

(An actor died instead.)


At the risk of sounding “corny”,

But anyway I’ve penned.

In fact “the Butler did it.”

And here my rhyme will end.